There are times where as a working mom, I feel as if I am on a teeter totter balancing my priorities, desires and passions in life up and down--back and forth. One week I am convinced I should be a stay at home mom and the next there is nothing I want more than to spend all my time, energy and heart into my job as a counselor. It gets real taxing on my mind and on my heart. I think God knows this though---well, actually I KNOW he knows. It's these times where I doubt my roles that he comes in and affirms what I am doing.
Even though summer is still in its beginning stages, I'm already falling hard for the 24/7 time with Everett and find little seeds of dread creeping their way in my mind when I think of work starting in the fall--which is crazy because I adore and LOVE my job! God has given me two amazing roles as mother and counselor and while I feel blessed, I also feel like I constantly have to choose. Where does this come from? I don't know. Will it ever stop? Not sure of that either. What I am sure of though is that when I start to doubt myself and my God-given roles, God comes in and uses something to affirm me and keep my head and heart in the game.
This evening, I received an email from a former student I worked with this past year (now a 7th grader)--it totally warmed my heart and fueled my love and desire for my amazing job! Here is what the student wrote:
What a sweet kiddo, huh?!
I thank God for using affirmations like this in my life because they drive me to be better at what he has destined for me. And while I am not sure if the conflicting feeling of this balancing act will ever go away, I would much rather be balancing these two great roles than none at all!