Rejoice.

How many of us go through our days and can easily dwell on all that goes wrong, stresses us out and what makes it a bad day?

My hand is raised.

I think it's easier for us pessimists out there to dwell in the deep.  Because of the nature of my job, I am totally ashamed to say I am not an optimist at heart--but it is something that I consciously struggle to work though ever day...every hour even!

This week was a tough week and it tested me, pushed me and stretched me.  Those are all very uncomfortable things to experience!

Being the first week back at school, it comes with its stresses.  Everything is new again and passion for work trumps everything.  Time. Energy. Family. Sleep. 

Passion for work can even try to trump what you are physically and mentally able to do!

My passion is getting a little out of control and it's taking what I love into a very stressful and insecure place.

We all have our insecurities, right?  Mine just happen to be most extreme in the workplace.  (Though Curtis would beg to differ!)  Maybe its working in two schools and feeling double pressure.  Maybe its my need to perfect all that I do.  Or maybe it's just the desire to please those around me.  Insecurity is a doozy and  when it creeps its ugly head, it will take you for a ride down to pessimistville and build a house there.  

There are some really big and exciting things I get to help plan and be a part of in each of my schools and while my heart knows I have the ability to deliver and bust out some awesomeness, it's like my leadership skills (or lack there of) get stage fright and hide away.

 Take for instance this week.  I recently had a meeting with three very important and mind you, intimidating (in an awesome way!) staff/leaders in one of my buildings.  We met to address some things that will be happening in the school and our ideas of how to make it great.  Initially this is something that I voiced I would love to be a part of this year and help take on and here I am in the meeting as timid as a mouse and verbally contributing next to nothing.   Where did my confidence go?  My passion?

 I left feeling like a fool and well, useless compared to them. Of course this had nothing at all to do with the other women and everything to do with me and my insecurities.

Why is it that God can provide me with awesome developing and planning skills, but yet I lack the leadership skills necessary to fully carry them out and show my abilities to my peers.

Give me a room full of kids, and I'll be good, but adults---no thank you. Hello insecurities!

Ooftah.  

It sure is a good thing we have a God full of grace enough to show us that when we choose to pursue happiness and joy, we can then rejoice in all of our circumstances---even the real yucky ones that make us feel like a nothing.

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thess. 5:16-18)

Can I get an Amen?

Last week at a workshop we had a mental health professional come in and talk to us about anxiety in kids (do they not know I'm the posterchild for anxiety?!).  She discussed a therapeutic technique to help make even the worst of situations seem not so bad.

1,000 things went well today.  Or in other words, counting our blessings.

I woke up on time today....I had a nice warm shower...I got to choose a nutritional breakfast...my car started...I got some work done....I got to work on time....I don't have to do laundry today....and so on....

How simple it is that when we focus on the good and rejoice in everything, we are fulfilling God's will. 

Simple.

Yet, not easy.

I am praying that God will instill some more confidence in me as I carry out my work and that no matter the amount of passion, and no matter the insecurities I battle inside, I will rejoice and pursue happiness in all circumstances.

Everett turns 2.

No words.

Simply Pictures---hopefully they communicate how much fun we've had celebrating our favorite guy!

Enjoy!

"Birth" day eve....

As I am writing this, it is still the eve of Everett's birthday.

 I had a little flashback today as I pulled out my video camera to charge for his upcoming birthday party and looked through some old videos of my little dude.  Wow, how time flies!  I find it hard to believe that little swaddled cooing boy barely rolling over on the floor is now my never stops running rough and tumble boy.  Oh my heart, it wells with love just thinking of him and how he has blessed us. 

 Cue lump in throat now. 

 Each year he reminds me what unconditional love is and how it only grows with time.

What. A. Difference!

I can't wait to see what the next year holds....terrible two's and all :)

Interested in my birth story?  Read it  HERE

All good things must end.

So, it is officially the end of summer and "back to school" is right around the corner.  It was as fast as ever, but packed full of awesomeness, adventures and fun!  Below are some of my favorite memories and moments of the summer!

Everett transitions into a big boy bed.

Exploring the beautiful state of Colorado for a week!

Meeting my nephew, Soren for the first time!

Celebrating the fourth of July and considering a future as a pyromaniac.

Cutest butt ever.

Cousin love.

Melt my heart.

Hot husband, Stubborn kid.  Classic Everett stubborn pose.

Reuniting with an oldie, but a goodie.

Family reunion cabin style.

Everett's new calling in life is to throw rocks into water.  Keeps that kids busy for hours--no joke.

Coolest kid ever.

Celebrating a BFF's long awaited pregnancy with some little treats! (best news ever!)

If only he was so peaceful while awake.  :)

We got crafty and creative this summer!

Baby boys' first shiner.

Found myself running again and training for a race.

Got crafty with an awesome new friend!

Little mister's new obsession--cars and/or anything with wheels!

End of summer family camping trip.

Learning to cook gluten free!

Rekindling my love for running around the lake.

We had many a walks and a plethora of park dates this kid and I.

MN state fair--frickles.  A must.

 

Everett's big boy hair cut--lookin fly in time to go back to daycare.

At the beginning of the summer I had the intention of doing more cooking, giving, fun, creative adventures and reading.  While we did not stick to the schedule as I had planned, we definitely did them all and did them a lot :)  Ok...maybe not a lot in the cooking realm, but perhaps that will change now that I am trying to be gluten free!

I also had a mini bucket list.

That did not go over as well as I hoped, but it was still fun to have some goals for the summer.

Everett potty trained?  That's a negative and still working on it.

Everett says his ABC's and counts to 5?  We are about 90% there!

Took an art class at the community center?  Nope.

Planned a bully prevention/positive school climate curriculum?  Its getting there, not quite completed yet.

Plan career lessons and brainstorm career fair?  Yes!

Lost 15 pounds?  :(  no

So all in all, while I didn't accomplish much personally, we had a blast of a summer and have so many memories to look back on.  

As I am so thrilled and excited to be returning to work in a few days and getting back in the swing of things, I also have pangs of guilt and sadness not being able to be with Everett all day everyday.  I will miss lazing around with him and going on new adventures during the day, BUT I am SO lucky that I work part time only 3.5 days a week to be able to help some of that anxiety of not staying at home.  I wouldn't have it any other way now (ok, except maybe just working at ONE school)  I have to remind myself that I do have the best of both worlds being able to work my dream job and have time available to be at home with Everett during the day.  It really is awesome.  And three months off in the summer? Pssh, I got it made!

I'm a total nerd though when it comes to preparing for the school year.  I was telling Curtis last night that I just wish it was the third week of school already.  I hate the 'unknown' so not having classroom guidance schedules done and not quite knowing the structure of my role this year until I have meetings with people and stuff is freaking me out a bit.  If I had it my way---everything would be planned at prepped already, but because my job depends a lot on others' schedules, I know I cannot expect others to be as OCD as I am.  That is probably a good thing :)  It stretches me into a more patient person.  That is why I feel like this last week of summer is so torturous and almost un-enjoyable because I just want to get to work and figure it all out!

When my planner is full, I will be happy :)

I need help.

All good things may end, but there are still good things in every day!