processing.

 

 This picture makes me sick inside. Sick to my stomach.  Sick in my heart.

My heart aches for the mamas and daddies.

For the spouses.

The heroic teachers and staff.

My heart breaks into a million pieces thinking of those tiny innocent bodies.

My heart is even sad for the shooter--and that one human being is capable of such a sickness.

Because of my job as a school counselor, I am unfortunately used to having to daily process my emotions at the days end regarding the sessions I have with elementary students--grief, loss, abuse, depression, neglect, etc.  But, I am having trouble processing this as a mom, as an educator, as a Christian and as a human being. 

I think even though we may be far removed from the situation, this tragedy is finding a way to hit all of us hard in some way or another. It's another evil thing in this world to leave us raw.  Hurt. Questioning. Sick.

So now what?  How will I let this impact me?

Will I trust people less and fear more?

Will I believe in the evil over the good?

Will I question the goodness of God?

Or 

Will I be driven to let good overcome evil?

Will I  believe in hope and grace for all humans?

Will I push myself to be more aware of students' emotional needs?

Will I push myself to be more aware of my child's emotional needs?

 I cannot begin to imagine what those involved have gone through, are going through and the pain that they'll endure, but I do know these things:

God is good.

Those sweet children are dancing with Jesus.

This life is temporary and our home is not here on earth.

There is hope in the hurt.

We need to love each other more.

For whatever it's worth,  those are my thoughts.

Whisper those names in your prayers today.