Baby Steps to Chemical Free

So, over the past 9 months or so I've been really encouraged by other blogs and close friends to make better choices about what is going in and on my body.  It is especially important now that I am with child.  I have slowly been incorporating new products into my daily life and have so much more add!  Take it from me (a beginner)--it is SO easy to start the process of becoming chemical free and it will really pay off in the long run.  These are some of the things that I have (and will soon) been using to replace the other toxin filled products I've been putting in my body.

Make-up: I've replaced my mascara with this organic mascara from Physicians Formula.  Free of all chemicals and toxins and created using plants and natural elements.  I love it!  I am planning to go to my local co-op soon to look at their organic/natural make-up selection and keep replacing my products!

 One word--NORWEX.  I was introduced to Norwex a few years ago and love love love their products.  My first go to product is their enviro-cloth.  These cloths are made with fine fine strands (like 1/500 of a human hair!) of silver, which naturally repels germs and bacteria--so you can use it on meat juices, toilet seats, and your hands and the germs wont transfer----so crazy! I need about 5 more.

 Hairspray: Replaced my treseme hairspray with organic hairspray.  Still smells pretty strong, but toxin free!

 Oh Coconut oil.  Thank you to my friend Regan for introducing me to the greatness of this stuff!  I use it for:

Cooking

Shaving

Face and Body Lotion

Natural first aid--think neosporin

Lip balm

Again, Norwex :)  I use the make-up cloths from this brand to both remove my make-up and wash my face.  The exfoliating cloth does the same work as an exfoliating scrub and a face wash because of the antibac qualities.  I love them and use them daily.

Essential Oils:  I am learning new things daily about how to use oils and what to use them for  I really dislike and have always disliked taking pills so being able to find a holistic alternative has been so nice.  I got this starter kit with some essentials and use at least one every day. Some things I use them for often:

Headaches

Sleep Remedy

Natural cleaning solution (mixed with water and vinegar)

De-stresser

Morning Sickness

Stuffy nose

Cinnamon in my sanitizer--natural antibac

Room/home deodorizer

 Shampoo:  I got rid of all of Everett's bubble baths, shampoos and body washes and incorporated this new product into his (and MY) bathing/showering routine.  It serves as a 3 in 1 being a shampoo, bubble bath and body wash. It is chemical and toxin free--again using plant solutions.  I use it for my own shampoo!

 Wish List: The products below are, you guessed it, Norwex! :)  I am going to a fellow crunchy friend's house this week for a Norwex party and hope to get the following products!  (And hope Curt doesn't notice the bank account if I do :) )

 

See.  Simple people.  If I can do it, you can too!  Have you become chemical free?  I'd LOVE to hear about the ways you have replaced your oldies with some goodies! :)

14 weeks

How far along? 14 Weeks

 

Total weight gain: Breaking even I think.  Went to the doctor last week and I was less than before, so maybe a pound by now?  Well heck, after all the girl scout cookies I've been eating, I'm surprised it's not more!

Maternity clothes?  Yep.  Found some non maternity very spandex like colored pants that do the job for now. 

I appreciate how now I can wear all the tighter fitting tops I have and it looks acceptable with a bump as opposed to before when it'd be a completely unacceptable muffin top silhouette.  Silver lining to this belly growth?

Stretch marks?  Not that I'm aware yet.

Sleep:  Same as before..... Uncomfortable.  Lacking. Tossing. Turning. Middle of the night bathroom breaks.  Sleep is no bueno.  :(

Best moment this week:  Well, I'm not sure I can share that one yet....  :) 

Miss Anything?  Still with the booze.  You would think I was Snooki before all this.

Movement: Feeling a flutter every now and then, but no "kicks"

Food cravings: random craving this week was Nacho Cheese Doritos.  That bag is now empty.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week!

Gender:  Hoping for a girl!...still

Fruit/Veggie Size:  Lemon!
 
Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: Headaches. Oh my gosh the throbbing.  It's awful.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Mood This Week:   Stressed, but seeing the glimmerin light ahead signifying spring break!

Looking forward to: Spring Break! 

   Here's a bump pic from this weekend!

When God gives you a snow day....

You go sledding!

Woke up this morning to a message saying that school was closed!  Hooray!  Snow days are extra special because they are like a Saturday in the middle of the week---unlike sick days where you still get bombarded with emails and work.  Snow days are days of FREEDOM! :)

Here's how we spent some of ours!

Mama's a little TOO excited to go sledding!

That blur right there got some air about 2 seconds after the snap of the camera and swiftly landed on our sides!

That's what a pregnant woman looks like after walking up a giant hill multiple times in foot deep snow!

E was VERY happy he could go on the slides today.  In fact, he was more excited about the park than sledding!  Silly kid.

Happy Tuesday to you all!

2nd Trimester, here I come!

Jumpin' on the preggo bandwagon here and going to do try to do a weekly pregnancy journal.  I would have liked to look back on something like this with my first pregnancy, so I'm starting now!

I can say that this pregnancy has been harder than my prior one, but not awful.  Morning sickness lingered on heavy for about a month and is tapering off now.  Everything else is pretty much the same---boobs = ouch, tired....oh so tired, crabby emotional, crampy.

How far along? 13 Weeks

Total weight gain: By my scale 1-2 lbs.  We'll see what the doctor's scale says tomorrow!'

I've been trying to be healthier this time around--like 2-3 apples a day healthy!  So I really hope the weight gain is much less than with Everett---still working on shedding those last Lb's!

Maternity clothes?  Uh, for sure.  As expected, I am definitely "showing" much more this time around and faster so regular pants are out of the question!  EEK!

For the record, maternity clothes suck.  They are boring and bland or halfway cute and super spendy.  What gives!  Can't a girl just get a really cute pair of colored skinny jeans for the spring for less than $50!

Stretch marks?  Not that I'm aware----but Everett "blessed" me with them before, so it might be hard to tell.

Sleep: Uncomfortable.  Lacking. Tossing. Turning. Middle of the night bathroom breaks.  Sleep is no bueno.  :(

Best moment this week:  A week or so ago, I got myself a fetal heart rate doppler off Amazon ( Best spent $30 ever!)  I've been using it ever few days and it is SO cool to here our babe's heart beating and even hear it move around in there.  So crazy what the body is capable of.  Because of my previous miscarriage and being a natural born worrier--it is great for peace of mind on days where I don't  "feel" pregnant.

Miss Anything?  Sleeping on my stomach and alcohol!  I would die for a rum and coke or margarita!  MMMMmmmmm......


Movement: I know it seems early, but I feel like there are little flutters here are there that are definitely the baby.  Nothing huge or visual to anyone else yet obviously, but I know the difference between wiggles and gas, ok people? :)

Food cravings: Like I said above---adult beverages!  Cereal, Apples, pickles, cantaloupe, pomegranate seeds and oh those Krispy Kreme's!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Thinking of hot Cheetos.  Totally devoured them prior to pregnancy and now, I can't touch them.

Gender:  Hoping for a girl!

Fruit/Veggie Size:  Peach!


Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: Boobs.  Lingering morning sickness. Tired.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Mood This Week:   Stressed.

Looking forward to: Spring Break!  Knowing what my job looks like next year.  Figuring out what the sex of the peach is.

Through storms come rainbows.

I'm not sure what has pushed me here, but here I am putting my fingers to the keys and typing---something I never thought I'd share with so many people.  However, if God has taught me one thing in my life, it's that our trials become experiences for us to use in helping and encouraging others that may go through them.  I know I have looked to others' experiences so many times when facing tough times to get me though and so I pray that this is the Holy Spirit pushing me so that my 'story' may help someone though their difficult time and encourage hope in their future.

This fall my husband and I had been trying for baby #2.  We had success earlier this winter and were beyond excited.  Plans were made of how and when to tell family and friends and I had already started a 'new baby' wishlist on Amazon.  Life was great.  Until I became a statistic.

20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage.

It's one of those yucky things I thought, "oh, that won't happen to me...".

It began while I was at work one day--a Monday.

To finish that entire day of work was unbearable mentally and emotionally as I was not positive of what was going on.  I remember standing in the bathroom stall at one of my schools fighting back tears and preparing myself to teach a classroom lesson while I was still unsure of what my body was doing.  Hours turned into a day and within 36 hours it was gone. "It" was gone.  I wasn't pregnant anymore.

There is something about that lack of control over your own body that is completely terrifying and frustrating.  Why can't I just do something to stop it?  A pill? A shot?  Resting?  Anything?

Devastation set in and even while the process was going to take weeks to complete, I had to continue with work--with life.  That was easily one of the worst weeks of my life.  I'm sure I was a horrible wife. mother. counselor and friend.

I think one of the most heartbreaking things out of all of this is in my research and speaking with other women that this is so common.  My own friends and family and I'm sure people I see and talk to every day having to endure this same heartache.

It's a tough heartache.  It's a sense of loss, but I felt myself comparing my experience to others thinking "well, I wasn't as far a long as her so I shouldn't be so sad" or "why would I tell people, I wasn't even 7 weeks along..."  I think that is Satan's way of creeping into my thoughts and minimizing the importance of life.  Of the life that I was going to carry.  No matter how far a long.  No matter how big.  It was a life and it was mine---and now it's gone.

 I do however feel that the farther a long a woman is the more connected and invested she becomes so with that, the grieving is, I am sure, much more difficult.

For a long time I felt broken. I was sad. hopeless. frustrated. angry.  Much of that pointed towards God.  We exchanged words---I more so than He, because when I'm pissed I don't listen.  In the end he gave me a teeny seed of hope and assured me he had a better plan.  So, I waited...not patiently.  Not the most polite either.  But I waited and trusted.

If you are going through this or have gone through this, I am deeply sorry.

But remember the title?  Through the storms come rainbows.

I've learned that the term for a baby born after a miscarriage is referred to as a 'rainbow baby'.

God still hasn't answered all of my questions from the "why's" before, but he has blessed us with our rainbow baby---fingers crossed.

That's right---I'm PREGNANT!

Though I have not obeyed the unwritten rule to wait until 12 weeks, I decided I am not going to let my prior experience drive fear into my life and keep me from sharing our good news.

I am just shy of 11 weeks and had an ultrasound a couple weeks ago.

Heartbeat? Check.
Arms and Legs?  Check.
Little wiggly blueberry?  Check.

All is looking great and so this gives me great hope that come September we will have our rainbow baby.

I still feel silly for writing all of this out thinking that so many women share this same story and never say a word.  But I believe in the power of a story and the power of words and that they can help to heal.  So many people's stories have helped in my healing process. So I pray that this finds the right person so they know:

#1: What you are going through is awful and you are not alone
#2 : There is hope after loss
#3 : It's ok to be angry at God as long as you keep talking to Him

And if no one finds this encouraging of helpful, well then at least those close to me will know why I sucked so bad at life earlier this winter.  :)

If we got to talking...

If you sat down with me and we got to talking, you would know:

I stayed up late last night watching, "won't back down".  Such a good inspirational movie!

I made a resolution to be vegan....then vegetarian....now vegetarian 6 out of the weeks 7 days :)

I have a weird obsession with owls

In year two as a school counselor, I still feel that I'm not doing enough and overwhelming  pressure to "measure up" to what people want/need me to be at work and what was in place before me.

Despite the pressure, I love my job.  Love!

Everett and I have a new bedtime ritual now--when it is time for bed, I tell him, "ok Everett, you can go to bed or cuddle with mama on the couch for a little bit"  Of course he'll choose anything but bed!  So we cuddle on the couch together and he doesn't move...that's a big deal.  He also loves touching his mama's face.

I got a new area rug and it makes the room seem ten times cleaner--no more dog hair woven into the rug!

Everett and I stayed in our PJ's all day.  No shame.

I'm getting excited for March madness....in 3 months  :(

I have really really amazing friends in my life.

My Krispy Kremes are all gone and that is a very sad thing.

Thanks for talking! :)

processing.

 

 This picture makes me sick inside. Sick to my stomach.  Sick in my heart.

My heart aches for the mamas and daddies.

For the spouses.

The heroic teachers and staff.

My heart breaks into a million pieces thinking of those tiny innocent bodies.

My heart is even sad for the shooter--and that one human being is capable of such a sickness.

Because of my job as a school counselor, I am unfortunately used to having to daily process my emotions at the days end regarding the sessions I have with elementary students--grief, loss, abuse, depression, neglect, etc.  But, I am having trouble processing this as a mom, as an educator, as a Christian and as a human being. 

I think even though we may be far removed from the situation, this tragedy is finding a way to hit all of us hard in some way or another. It's another evil thing in this world to leave us raw.  Hurt. Questioning. Sick.

So now what?  How will I let this impact me?

Will I trust people less and fear more?

Will I believe in the evil over the good?

Will I question the goodness of God?

Or 

Will I be driven to let good overcome evil?

Will I  believe in hope and grace for all humans?

Will I push myself to be more aware of students' emotional needs?

Will I push myself to be more aware of my child's emotional needs?

 I cannot begin to imagine what those involved have gone through, are going through and the pain that they'll endure, but I do know these things:

God is good.

Those sweet children are dancing with Jesus.

This life is temporary and our home is not here on earth.

There is hope in the hurt.

We need to love each other more.

For whatever it's worth,  those are my thoughts.

Whisper those names in your prayers today.